No new info to report...but

I am still being faithful to myself and posting in my blog. I haven't been to the clinic in a week. I typically go on Saturdays but this past Saturday they were closed, so I am going to wait until this next Saturday.

I am doing really good during the week and ok on the weekends. This past weekend was my wedding anniversary and hubby surprised me with a trip to Joe's Crab Shack. I ate what I wanted, but what I ate wasn't so bad. I had CRAB, and LOT's of it, and peel and eat shrimp. I ate a little bit of the corn on the cob, but no potatoes, no alchohol, and no dessert. So the biggest no no I did was dip my crab in butter. So, it could have been worse, and it tasted so fricken GOOD! So my thought it, if I gained a pound or two it was well worth it!

Earlier today I was looking at myself in the mirror in the bathroom (full length mirror) and I was looking at my butt. I have on a pair of black pants I wear to work quite often. My pants are pretty loose now, and my butt looks saggy. It made me laugh.

Hope you all have a great week and Happy Dieting!

XOXO

How I am doing...

Last week or week before I posted I was back, and then I disappeared again. LOL, my new job doesn't allow me the freedom like I once had. That is ok though, because I am loving my new position. There still is stress, but on a different level, a level that I can manage. When I leave work at night I can leave everything behind and not have to think about it anymore until I get here in the morning. That is so refreshing.

I am doing great on my diet. Last week I weighed in and was a 216.2 which was a new low for me. :) I have purchased some smaller new jeans and have put away the larger size ones in the back of the closet. I don't know why, I am just not ready to part with them yet. I think it is because when I have lost a certain amount I want to take a picture of the new me in my old jeans.

I also am wearing just regular XL shirts. No more plus sizes, 1x, 2x, or 3x do I have to buy. I was a little shocked about this. I went to Goodwill to take some stuff in and I ended up browsing the clothes. Before I started this new life, I was wearing a 3x top. So I fiugred 1x would be a good size to try on. I found some tops that were cute and I went to try them on and I was shocked that they were so big. So for the first time in a long long time, I went to the regular sizes and picked out two tops that were just regular XL and holy moly they fit. I bought them, I couldn't help it. :)

I wore one of the tops yesterday with my new smaller jeans to work and quite a few people took notice. I heard "are you getting skinny", "you look great", to some people even nicknaming me "skinny". It feels wonderful! All my life I have been overweight, and I have never been called skinny before. Now I know that at 216 lbs, I am no where near skinny, but my hard work is being noticed.

I am having family visit me at the end of October. They haven't seen me since April and I know they are going to be shocked when they finally see me. I hope by that time I will be under 200! I am working hard to acheive that goal. They ask for pictures all the time and the only thing they have seen is my face. I can't wait to see the look on their face when they see the rest of me.

Anyway, hope all of you out there are doing well. I have missed blogging and it feels good to get this out there.

Till next time...Happy Dieting!

I am in desperate need of good vibes!!

On Saturday when I woke up I told myself I wasn't going to go to the clinic, then I would change my mind, then I would change it again. I didn't want to be discouraged. But I sucked it up and I went. The only thing I lost was the .5 that I gained earlier in the week. So at least the scale didn't go up.

I know I am not eating right and that is probably a big part of the problem. Here it is the end of the month, money is tight so food gets less and less healthy. Thankfully payday is this week.

This week is going to be stressful for me. I start my new position tomorrow. I am nervous. I hope all will go well. I don't know when I will be able to post again since I don't have a computer at home and who knows when I will get time to log back in.

I need good vibes sent my way. I am not a very religious person so I don't ask for prayers. That is why I ask for good vibes. Happy Dieting everyone. Till next time....

20 Lbs...Bye Bye

It's Official..I have lost 20 lbs. I can't tell you how excited I am. The new meds the Dr. put me on has made a huge difference.

I went to the foot doc yesterday because my feet have been hurting me so bad. I haven't been able to go walking or anything. It is all I can do to just get around. I received two VERY VERY painful cortisone shots in my heels and this morning I can tell a difference. The shots should last a couple of weeks and hopefully my new shoe inserts will be ready by then.

So what does that mean? I am going walking tonight. I haven't been in a while and I really miss it. I think my son misses it too. This was our time together and more often than not he would fall asleep as we walked home and I would just put him in bed and he would sleep all night.

So my official weight is 223. 4 more pounds to go and I can slam the door shut on the 220's and focus on leaving the 200's behind for good.

I wonder if I am close to being out of the morbid obesity category? That would be awesome!!

First Weigh In (in almost a month)

Saturday morning I bit the bullet and went and weighed in. Remember I had fallen off the wagon and got back on and I hadn't weighed in since June 22nd. This clinic was really busy when I got there so I had to sit and wait, and as I was waiting the fear of what was to come when I stepped onto that scale was almost overwhelming. Finally the nurse called my name "Heather..let's get you weighed" I slowly rose to my feet and walked to the weigh room. She closed the door and I stood there frozen as the nurse typed in my name in the computer. "It's been a while since you were last here hasn't it" the nurse said. I explained to her I had kind of fallen off. She explained that it happens alot but just by getting up, brushing yourself off, and getting back into the clinic was a step in the right direction.

She then looked at what I was wearing (jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes) and asked me if I weighed in jeans before. I told her I was usually in sweats and she said that if I wanted to I could take them off because jeans can have an affect on the scale. Not really wanting to weigh in in my underwear I declined but did take off my shoes.

I took a deep breath, stepped up onto the scale and closed my eyes. I only opened them when I heard the nurse say "WOW" Thinking I had put on all the weight I had lost and thensome I opened my eyes and looked at the number. 227.6!! HOLY MOLY! I had lost another 8.6 pounds for a total of almost 16 pounds lost. I was floored. I was in such shock that the nurse asked me if I was alright. I told her I couldn't believe it and even asked her if the scale was working properly. She laughed at me and told me to smile that I had achieved a +5% loss of my initial body weight and I was going to get a goody pack on my next visit.

Honestly I don't feel like I have lost 16 pounds and to me I don't look like I have lost 16 pounds. My pants are loose and I can put my jeans on straight from the dryer without having to suck it in or lay on the bed (YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT) but I just think I felt I would "feel" it more. She told me to hang in there that I would.

So with that...I have shut the door on the 240's and I shut the door on the 230's. I am now working on getting out of the 220's, and I look forward to the day I say good-bye to the 200's and can SLAM that door shut.

Thank you all for the kind words and support..till next time Stay Focused! XOXO

July 1st!

I haven't weighed in this week. I have been a little out of sorts with everything going on in my life. I have daycare problems, husband problems, financial problems, car problems...basically you name it, I have that problem. So I haven't been able to follow my diet as closely as I would like. There have been days where I have barely eaten 500 calories ALL DAY because I have been so stressed out. I haven't pigged out or anything, quite the opposite. I stopped eating for a few days and that is just as bad as pigging out.

So I put off weighing in until next week. However I want to share some successes with you.

Yesterday at work was the last day for several co-workers. Several cakes were brought in and these weren't just any ordinary cakes. They were fancy schmancy yummy looking cakes. People FLOCKED to them to get a slice. In fact, people from other departments were coming over to get a piece. BUT NOT ME! I stayed clear of the cake ALL DAY. I munched on some fresh strawberries that someone has brought in also. I was so proud of myself.

I also walk almost every single night. In fact, I look forward to it. I found this little hidden park that is by my house and I take my son out in his stroller every night. Now we head to the park. They have play structures that are perfect for him and because it is sort of hidden there rarely is anyone there. We both win...I get to exercise and he gets to play..and more often than not as we walk home he falls asleep and is out for the night.

So no weight update to report, but I do want to give a little praise to a friend of mine. I think she follows my blog. This person and I share a first name and we have known each other since Jr. High. She is also embarking on a weight loss journey and she recently hit a huge milestone, she is now under 200 lbs. I am so proud of her. I know it is not easy. So HL...a big congratualtions to you!

Challenges

Every person dieting experiences challenges along the way. Sometimes those challenges are in the form of a holiday that revolves around food. Sometime those challenges are hormonal when you feel like you need to eat an entire box of ice cream or devour the whole chocolate cake. Sometimes those challenges are called a husband or a wife. Whatever the challenges are you have to make the conscious decision of whether you are going to deal with the challenge or succumb to it.

This past week has been a very challenging one for me personally. I am dealing with some issues at home that are very difficult and my diet has been effected. However, I have to say I am proud of myself for how I dealt with it. I didn't go and get Mr. Ice Cream to help soothe my anguish away and Miss Cake wasn't even thought about. Instead, I went for a couple of walks, had a piece of watermelon, chase my son around the yard. Now I wasn't perfect in my choices, I did eat some things that weren't the best for me, but it could have been worse.

Life certainly has its ups and downs and so does a diet, but in the end you have to stick with it. You have to make choices of what food you put into your mouth. If you mess up, accept the guilt and move forward. Don't beat yourself up because you slipped a little.

When I was a kid growing up I had alot of cousins around who we would hang out with quite often. One of my cousins struggled with weight. While I haven't spoke with this person in many many years...in fact we went to the same high school together and yet never spoke to each other. People didn't even know we were related. Kind of sad when I look back on it, but anyway there was a saying that her Mom put onto her fridge that I think about all the time now.

"A Moment on the Lips, Forever on the Hips"

Think about that the next time you are craving that piece of cake or that box of ice cream. It really does put things into perspective.

Happy Dieting Everyone..tomorrow is weigh in for me.

Eye Opening Meal Information on Salads

Yesterday was my first day since my calorie intake has been reduced by the Dr. For the day I ended up with a total of 1270 eaten, 102.1 grams of protein, and 83 grams of carbs. Not bad, my carb to protein ratio was off a little so I probably should have had a piece of fruit and it woud have been right on target. Fresh rasberries are a great snack. Per 10 berries there is only 10 calories, 1.1 carbs, and .2 protein. They go good with cottage cheese.

I just had my lunch. I opted to walk across the street to our cafeteria and pick up a small salad from the salad bar. I carefully constucted my little salad picking things like fresh spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, beans, beets, peas..and I walked back to my desk. I also bought a fat-free packet of Kraft Ranch Dressing.

I log onto calorieking.com and start computing the calories of my salad breaking it down veggie by veggie. My little salad (and yes it was little because I used the little container versus the big container) came in at 203 calories. The biggest calorie offender was garbanzo beans.
Here is the breakdown of what was in my salad...

Veggie

c= Calories

p=Protein

ca=Carbs

1. 
   
   Spinach 20c 2.4p 1.2ca


2. 
   
   Romaine Let. 8c .6p .6ca


3. 
   
   Beets (3 slices) 19c .7p 3.4ca


4. 
   
   Brocolli (1 piece) 5c 1p 1ca


5. 
   
   Cauliflower (1 piece) 3c .3p .4ca


6. 
   
   Onion (1 Slice) 4c 0p .8ca


7. 
   
   Peas (1 spoonful) 11c 1p 1ca


8. 
   
   Bellpepper (1 sliver) 1c 0p .1ca


9. 
   
   Kidney Beans (1 spoonful) 14c .84p 1.4ca


10. 
    
    Garbanzo Beans (1 spoonful) 46c 2.4p 5.4ca


11. 
    
    Pepperocini (2 peppers) 8c 0p .5ca


12. 
    
    Mushrooms 4c .5p .4ca


13. 
    
    Fat Free Kraft Dressing 60c 0p 14ca

Garbanzo Beans 46 calories!!!! That was shocking to me. Next time I am skipping those! But seriously it is amazing how fast calories add up. This meal is actually a really good one. My calories for each mini meal are to be 150-200 and this meal is 203. It is hard to get detailed calorie counts for 1 piece of cauliflower or 2 peppers, so I rounded up. The protein to carb ratio is not even, but that is ok because as long as I end the day with the ratio being as close to even as possible..that is perfect. Right now in looking at everything I have planned to eat today while at work my ratio is 1.04, so right on track.

I love salads and before I started this diet I would load my bowl up with everything and then pile on the dressing. I am sure that my salads of the past were over 600 calories easy.

Well time to get back to work. Lots of stuff to do. Hopefully next time you are at the salad bar because you want something healthy you will think of me and really watch what you are putting on your plate. There are hidden calories everywhere.

Happy Friday!

Week Two Weigh In

Ok, well I went and weighed in yesterday. I didn't have a good feeling about it and I wasn't looking forward to it. I knew that this week was not going to be like last week. I get to the office and I slowly make my way to the scale. (Why does the scale look like the electric chair?) I step up and close my eyes. I hear the nurse say..."Well that is to be expected" and I open my eyes and I had gained 1 lb. WHAT THE F^%$! I knew I had a bad weekend, but after cutting out all soda, all junk food, and cooking 90% of my meals at home I GAINED a pound.

Here is how the conversation went with the nurse

Nurse "I can see it in your face you are upset"

Me "Wouldn't you be?"

Nurse "No, because at any given time of the day our weight fluctuates within a pound or so. You can weigh one thing in the morning and could be a pound lighter or a pound heavier at the end of the day"

Me "So what are you saying?"

Nurse "That you maintained your weight. We don't view this as a weight gain persay, but you maintained your weight for the week. After your initial drop last week which was pretty big it really isn't expected to have that kind of weight loss your second week"

Me "I understand, but I am not here to maintain my weight, I am here to lose. What needs to be done"

So she took my measurements and I have lost 2 inches off my waist and my BMI has gone down almost 2 points. So I started at a 43 BMI but am now almost 41. Still too high but going in the right direction. My calories have been cut even more now. I was doing 1700 calories and now have been bumped down to 1300 and I am taking my meds everyday.

So while I am not proud of what happened, I have put it behind me. Today is a new day, and I am still on track. I have started taking the stairs at work both up and down and I walk those stairs at least several times a day because of my job. I park farther away when I go to the store and stuff and will be walking at night everynight.

Let's hope this week is better

*SIGH*

HOLY MOLY!

So I went in and got weighed today. Today is actually one week since I signed up on the program and since I am having a horrible day due to some personal/relationship issues I thought I would get weighed today. My one week weight loss total was 7.1 lbs! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? HOLY MOLY! I am so excited. The nurse gave me a hug and a free B-12 shot. I am so excited. Nurse told me that first two weeks you see the biggest numbers drop and then I should level off, but I am officially out of the 240's and almost halfway out of the 230's. My official weigh in was 236.2! YAY!!

Weekend Update

On Saturday I woke up and went straight to the weight loss clinic. Both on Thursday and Friday by the time I got home I was starving and I had a headache and I know that feeling like that while trying to take care of Robert Jr. was not going to work. The Dr. at the clinic was so glad I came in. We looked at my food journal and made some adjustments and now things are better. Weather here in Oregon was just amazing this weekend. I had bought this little pool for Robert Jr. when I was still pregnant with him and we finally were able to break it out this weekend and use it. HE LOVED IT! We spent all weekend at home in our backyard just hanging out, taking pictures and we BBQ'd Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I also took out the stroller and Robert Jr. and I went for a walk each night. I couldn't have asked for more.

This morning I had a physical. I need to know where my cholesterol and blood pressure is right now so I can compare next year. My primary Dr. was so happy that I have taken this step, so now they are on board along with the Doctors at the weight clinic and everyone is monitoring me. When I weighed in at the Dr.s office this morning the scale showed 240.6! WOOHOO! That is 2.7 lbs in 4 days. My official weigh in this week is Thursday...so I am hoping to once and for all be out of the 240's and vow to NEVER RETURN!

I also have to have a mammogram this year. I had one when I was 30 because of my family history and now it is time for another. Not looking forward to that, but again they are monitoring me close and if I ever feel anything in my breasts that just feels different they will schedule me for an ultrasound ASAP.

I just posted a bunch of pictures of Robert Jr. on my facebook page and hopefully soon I can start showing my face more and won't be so embarrased. I am staying focused and motivated and hope that soon I will notice a positive change in myself.

Day One....

So I met with the medical team who is going to be helping me as I travel down this journey of weight loss. I am considered morbidly obese. Doesn't that just sound so gross? I mean, I am literally so fat that I am beyond obese. UGH! How disgusting. Oh well...hopefully if all goes well and I have the motivation and will power I can move out of that category. Anyway..here are my stats. I am 5ft 3in and I weigh..243lbs. My BMI is almost 50! HOLY MOLY! That is alot of fat on my small frame and I carry mostly in my tummy. The Dr. said alot of women carry it there. I am on a calorie restricted diet and today is Day 1. I planned my meals out for the day last night and on paper it doesn't look like much food. I have to eat every two hours to keep my body from going into hunger/starvation mode. That is going to a change as I am used to skipping breakfast, eating a huge lunch...and then again a big dinner with lots of soda in between. I have had no coffee this morning (just water) and I think I can easily cut out the soda's. I just took all my vitamins and appetite suppresant I can feel them kind of swirling around in my body. It will take some time to get used to, but my goal is to lose 100 lbs..and at an average of 2 lbs a week..it is going to take some time I know.

The biggest challenge is going to be cooking for my family and maintaining my diet. I can't expect my son and husband to eat less, but they are in for some changes too. No more McDonalds, Jack in the Crack, Taco Hell, or anything fast food.

Hopefully if I can get some followers for my blog I can get some recipes that are high in protein as that is the main focus of this weight loss program..PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN!! I know there are many of us out there...will we find each other? Only time will tell. Until then...I am going to stay focused. One day at a time...

One Door Closes....Another One Waiting to Open

Today is the last day of my life as I now know it. I have high cholesterol, probably borderline diabetic, obese, unhappy, no energy, stressed out.......etc. I have a 15 month old son who along with my husband is the love of my life and my health worries me. I get winded just walking across the parking lot and I hate that I can only play with my son for a few minutes at a time. It is time to make a change...and tomorrow I have an appointment with a medical doctor to deal with my weight problem.

I have been overweight ever since I was a child. I remember being in Jr. High and High School and laying in bed crying because I was fat. I played sports (soccer and field hockey) but I could never lose the weight. I have tried every diet (Atkins, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, etc) and while I drop weight initially, it all comes back...and thensome. I don't want to have surgery but I NEED to do something. I don't want my son to be the one in his class with the "fat mommy"..so Monarch Medical Weight Loss...here I come.

My appointment with them is tomorrow morning. Tonight I am having a "last supper" of sorts with my family..after tonight no more prime rib, cheesy enchildadas, salads dripping with dressing....it is time for a new me to be born. As one of my favorite announcers says..."Let's get ready to rumble" or in my case LOSE THIS WEIGHT!